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Post by Ironhide on Dec 4, 2011 1:31:00 GMT -5
Ironhide vented a heavy sigh then and lowered his cannons, looking at Sideswipe with a hint of sympathy in his optics. He knew that pain all too well. "N ya think by drownin' yerself in high grade it'll all go away?" he asked, a hard edge to his voice from seeing far too much pain in his own life. "I thought I taught ya better 'en that!" he snarled then. "High grade'll only kill ya er get ya killed n drag everyone ya love down inta the Pit with ya!" he very nearly yelled at Sideswipe, and from his tone, it was clear he knew all too well from personal experience. He then reached down and grabbed Sideswipe by his already painfully sore chest plates and hauled him up, turning and slamming the smaller mech's back hard against a nearby wall. "Do I gotta beat this self pitty scrap outa ya?!" he hollered, his face mere inches from Sideswipe's. "Do I?!" he added and slammed Sideswipe against the wall again for emphasis. As enraged as Ironhide sounded and looked, in his optics there was very real pain there, and had the burly mech been human, his eyes would have been misted over, tears gathering and threatening to fall. It cut him to the core to see one he cared for, one of his dear friends, suffering yet wouldn't come to him for help.
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Post by Deleted on Dec 4, 2011 1:41:56 GMT -5
Sideswipe at first didn't know how to answer but winced as Ironhide suddenly pulled him up by his already sore chest plates, grunting as he was slammed not once but twice into the wall which for a few minutes left him dazed. "No you don't and I'm already close to losing Notitia already. It's not like I meant for it to get this bad and I did." He said, the tone of his voice having barely changed besides a slight edge of pain and sorrow for being so arrogant in what he had or could be very close to have caused.
But that look in Ironhide's optics..."You've had this problem too Ironhide...haven't you." He said more as a statement then a question and turned his head away,"Really 'Hide I hate myself for what I've done for a few months now and yes I admit I should have told someone, but I was afraid to admit the problems. Primus knows I've failed you as a student, as a friend." He murmured.
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Post by Ironhide on Dec 4, 2011 1:55:31 GMT -5
Ironhide's anger faded then as he listened to Sideswipe speak. Yeah, he knew all too well what Sideswipe was going through, but thankfully Ironhide had caught him in it before it had gone too far for too long. He nodded then, shifting his grip to just hold Sideswipe there. "Yeah... once... long time ago..." he admitted, closing his optics and lightly resting his forehead against the younger mech's. "I love ya like a son, Sides, you n yer brother, ya know that. I'da thought ya'd come ta me if yer hurtin' er needed help. I thought ya'd trust me ta do that at least." he said, his voice uncharacteristically soft now, carrying a slight tremor. It was clear then just how much it had actually hurt the burly mech to put Sideswipe through all that, torturing them both, but he felt like he had no choice if he was going to save the young mech from the self destructive road he was on. "I been there, the things I seen, the things I done, mistakes I made, seein' others die n I couldn't save 'em, the lil ones... Oh Primus, the lil ones..." his voice trailed off and he shuddered, hugging the younger mech against him then and shifting to rest his head on Sideswipe's shoulder.
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Post by Deleted on Dec 4, 2011 2:03:11 GMT -5
Sideswipe closed his optics for a long moment, listening to Ironhide and he knew he should have when there was something wrong. "Ironhide I do trust you, even with my life and though I never told you this but you've always been like the father me and Sunstreaker never had. Know you're hard on us because you care." He said truthfully but when he spoke of things that had happened and sparklings....he trailed off remembering a few times he had seen such sights but had to force back the emotions that came over him.
Hugging Ironhide a bit he thought it was time to tell the older mech something he might be shocked to hear,"Ironhide in speaking of sparklings I've been wanting to tell you I...I've got a daughter of my own, a techno organic one." He finally admitted, another reason he felt so horrible about this damn addiction he'd gotten himself into.
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Post by Ironhide on Dec 4, 2011 2:25:03 GMT -5
Ironhide tightened the hug as Sideswipe spoke, glad that the young mech felt such a close kinship to him. At the mention of a daughter, Ironhide gave the younger mech a startled look. "Ya got a Sparklin'?" he asked in a startled tone. "When n how'd that happen?" he asked rather bluntly, looking at Sideswipe curiously. "N ya went n got yerself inta this mess? I oughta beat ya senseless, Sideswipe..." he grumped, then vented a sigh. But he left the threat at that and looked at him for a moment. "Yer gonna go through yer entire quarters top ta bottom n hand over every high grade container ya got, empty er not, n then yer gonna clean yerself up good. Dun make me search yer quarters myself. If I ever smell a drop o' high grade on ya again, I swear ta Primus I'ma kick yer aft ta Cybertron n back." he promised firmly, one that that left no doubt that he would actually go through with it. He then vented and lowered his head, slowly setting Sideswipe on his wheels again, though he didn't let him go just yet. "I'll be there fer ya ta help ya through the withdrawals, I know what it's like ta deal with that. But promise me ya ain't gonna start this again? I lost too many already n I dun wanna lose either o' ya. Bad enough watchin' one o' ya die, but watchin' the other one suffer for it..." he shook his head then and vented shakily. "N yer Sparklin'... what she'll go through..." He brought a hand up and rested it on the side of the younger mech's head, letting him know he didn't hate Sideswipe, but the disappointment and pain was clear enough.
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Post by Deleted on Dec 4, 2011 2:31:05 GMT -5
"Hey look I haven't knocked up a human I swear on my Spark, think that one would have been plain obvious. The girl is seventeen 'Hide and prime told me himself, she's from the Hybrid project and I did give some of my DNA as the humans call it but I hadn't a clue it had been used." He explained but looked at Ironhide as he was set down. Though he shook his head a bit,"No need I got all the high grade in one spot for a stash I kept like me and Sunstreaker use to do all the time, not even half of it is left. Far as I know there are only a few left unopened and I cleaned the empty ones back into the same place...shortly before you blew down my door." He explained sincerely. "Plus I don't want to see high grade again."
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Post by Ironhide on Dec 4, 2011 2:40:23 GMT -5
Ironhide nodded then, remembering the project though he had declined to participate. He didn't know Sideswipe had though. He patted Sideswipe's shoulder lightly and stepped back then, offering a look of empathy. "Aight, let's go get the stuff cleared outa yer room then." he said, glad the lesson had sunk in well. He knew the withdrawals would hit Sideswipe soon and hard, but thankfully it was often short lived and Sideswipe would be fine soon enough. And of course Ironhide would be there for him like he promised to help him through the pain. "N if ya ever hurt er the past starts tearin' ya up, ya come ta me, talk ta me, okay? I may not've spawned the pair o' ya, but I pretty much raised ya both n bein' a dad means I'ma be there ta take care o' ya er knock sense inta ya when ya need it." he said with a bit of a crooked smile.
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Post by Deleted on Dec 4, 2011 2:47:08 GMT -5
Sideswipe smiled a bit now, ignoring the slight pain he still had but he knew his nanocells would help with the injuries since they were nothing big. "Think you can get Sunstreaker to be able to not worry about his looks at all?" He joked knowing that was unlikely to ever happen and if it did he would make sure his brother was feeling alright. With a few stretches Sideswipe nodded,"Remind me to get anew door by the way, you pretty much destroyed this one."He added as he looked at the training door that was sealed and shook his head,"And now can we leave? Or you planning to make me do sprints next?"
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Post by Ironhide on Dec 4, 2011 3:03:22 GMT -5
Ironhide chuckled a bit and patted Sideswipe's shoulder, then stepped over and opened the door. "C'mon then, though once we get yer room cleared out, might make ya do sprints anyway." he said with a wink, though he was pretty sure he wouldn't have to. "I'll help get yer tanks untangled though, I've seen Ratchet do it enough ta know how." he offered and motioned for Sideswipe to follow him out.
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Post by Deleted on Dec 4, 2011 21:27:21 GMT -5
Sideswipe nodded and follow though he grinned,"Now come on 'Hide you know I don't mind sprints, always have a need for speed." He said with a playful tone though there was some truth in it as well. He loved going as fast as he could, even with wheeled feet it proved somewhat useful in many cases. As the two mechs made it to Sideswipe's room he came through the blown out door and skated over to where he normally kept his stash of high grade, now that was about to change.
Opening the hidden closet several bottles were stacked inside the small closet, most were empty save for about four he had planned to have when the hang over had passed. Now his face showed nothing but disgust for what he had done to himself, both physically and mentally and pretty much making the situation worse. "Honestly Ironhide I'll be glad to get this over with."He admitted as he took out several of the empty bottles and sighed, feeling his tank hurt just thinking about the amount.
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Post by Ironhide on Dec 4, 2011 22:52:23 GMT -5
Ironhide nodded in response and walked over to him, layi8ng a comforting hand on the younger mech's shoulder. "I know how ya feel, Sideswipe, been through that myself. When ya realize what it does t' ya n how much ya hurt the ones closest t' ya, ya end up feelin' pretty disgusted with yerself. I had ta push ya hard in the trainin' yard, had ta make ya see what it was doin' t' ya, n had ta make ya see what it was doin' t' us too. We get these outa here n I'll get her tanks straightened out. As hard as ya purged out there, I'm bettin' they're pretty bound up n hurtin' 'bout now." he offered honestly and moved his hand down to rub Sideswipe's back a bit. He then reached over and took a few of the empty containers in one hand, shaking his head slightly. "Got t' the point I can't stand the smell o' high grade no more..." he rumbled and vented a heavy sigh. He knew Sideswipe understood now, and hoped that the younger mech would steer clear of the stuff from now on like Ironhide had done long ago.
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Post by Deleted on Dec 4, 2011 23:29:22 GMT -5
Sideswipe nodded and shook his head,”Just can’t believe I made myself go through this, I’ve already come close to losing Notitia and primus only knows how Sunstreaker has been feeling about this if he even caught on.” Sunstreaker of course wasn’t stupid, that the silver mech knew and when his brother did know he was likely going to hear an audio full from him. Though what was he going to say to Notitia when they met up again? Would she even forgive him after all that had happened?
Sighing the blades master looked at the bottles still left unopen,”I’ll make sure to put those back where they really belong and stay far from it.” He assured Ironhide before looking at him,”As for my tanks they’re sore alright but I’ll have to deal with it for now till this withdrawal is over.”
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Post by Ironhide on Dec 5, 2011 9:13:29 GMT -5
Ironhide nodded a bit. "Where'd ya get 'em from?" he asked with a tilt of his head. It wasn't that he was asking so he could take the bottles back for Sideswipe, but to make sure that the source was better contained in the future. After all, if Sideswipe could sneak it out of where it was stored, Ironhide could well imagine what would happen if any of the younger bots figured it out and started sneaking into the supply themselves, not unlike human teenagers do with alcohol and cigarettes. The notion made him vent sharply, though his irritation was not directed at Sideswipe, at least not for now anyway.
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Post by Deleted on Dec 5, 2011 12:30:26 GMT -5
"Energon storage area, it's easy since no one really watches it much and carried it out during the night." Sideswipe told Ironhide knowing he might get smacked behind the head for always sneaking in at night. Though he sighed,"And remember when I had to stop you and Ratchet from about getting at each other's throats? Ratchet had to give me a pain killer to help with my hang over, think he suspects something about it but I grew so nervous and afraid I took off from the med bay." He confessed not knowing what had caused the two friends to fight but he was sure Ironhide would have detected it then if he hadn't been so distracted.
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Post by Ironhide on Dec 5, 2011 17:55:34 GMT -5
Ironhide vented a bit and shook his head. "Sounds like I'ma have ta have a chat with Ratchet then. Need ta get the high grade under lock n key." He looked over at where Sideswipe had stashed his supply he had snatched and shook his head again. "I won't tell 'im 'bout yer problem, log as ya hold t' yer word ya won't start it up again." he offered with a smile. He knew just how bad Ratchet would get if he found out about Sideswipe and his early stage addiction to high grade, he had seen the results of that particular disgruntlement in the grumpy worrier of a medic.
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